Blogging Parenthood Personal

Are you, Mom?

It’s been a while… and a lot has happened in that while. The main thing that has happened is the 11lb something ounce baby that is strapped to my chest whilst I attempt to write this. I’ve been meaning to do this from the moment that I found out I was pregnant BUT the majority of the 9 months were spent filled with feeling a mixture of overwhelming happiness and crazy impending doom style anxiety!

So, where to begin…! I haven’t done a scene setting paragraph for a while! Something I used to do A LOT, so here we go…
DRINK: Haha, you don’t get time to make drinks when you have a baby! And if you do they always go cold, or you find them somewhere random a few days later (the wardrobe… actually happened).
BLOG THEME TUNE: Lady GaGa – Joanne (Album) she’s my guilty pleasure.
OUTFIT OF CHOICE: Grey roll neck jumper, black “yoga” pants covered in the remanence of a subway sandwich, regurgitated milk (Mason’s.. not mine) and Fugg boots.

As with all of my blogs, I am not an expert in this field, I am merely a novice but if my experience(s) can help ANYONE on the other side of their Iphone searching the internet for advice like… Why does my baby hate his bed? Why is my baby’s poop so weird? Why does my baby hate me? How can I prevent this from happening again? Then I am more than happy to offer my thoughts and experiences.

Since finding out I was pregnant I’ve faced SO many new obstacles/opinions and reactions, starting with the reaction of the doctor that actually told me.. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO!? Way to fill me with confidence doc. I mean, what kind of question is that.

Following that it’s been appointment after appointment of Are you getting out of your WHEELCHAIR? (No, I thought I’d let you cover me in jelly and give me an ultrasound whilst I was sitting completely bolt upright). OH! that’s a snazzy wheelchair!(stated by awkward ultrasound tech..yes, she said SNAZZY), Are you sure you can manoeuvre yourself around this door frame… you’re a better driver than me, etc, etc!

Honestly, since he has been born it’s been WORSE! Hence the title of this blog “Are YOU mom?!” this is the most common comment. Seriously! It happens all of the time, no matter who I am with.. I’ve been with my mom who is 53, and YES she looks incredibly young for her age, BUT what drives me crazy is the fact that people think it’s more likely that my mom has had a baby.. rather than myself, a 28 year old girl in her “reproductive prime” who happens to be a wheelchair user!

We’ve also had IS THAT YOUR BABY! Well done…! Thanks Ethel, Thanks.

Anyway! This blog was meant to be about advice… Here’s what I’ve learnt so far.

Take things that medical professionals say with a pinch of salt
This is an important one that I wish I’d known. My pregnancy was an easy one and I felt pretty much normal until he was born. I was due to fly to Florida at 20 weeks, and despite it being “the safest time to fly during pregnancy” according to the internet, my GP put the fear of God into me! Telling me that I was taking a “massive risk” and that I was putting myself and my baby in danger. Queue Jaz having to stand me up on a cramped flight every one hour to shuffle around in my space (as if people don’t stare enough when you are being pulled through the cabin on an aisle chair – I then gave them a private show every hour, which was met with many “Ah bless her” smiles). I was also advised to drink a whole 2L bottle of water which meant that I had to be put onto the aisle chair and dragged again through said cabin to use their tiny cupboard toilet that is basically the size of a human coffin… who the hell even fits in those toilets on their own let alone with their other half!? And who the HELL is joining the mile high club?! I felt like I was going to be sucked through the toilet into the atmosphere Princess Leia style. (SPOILER ALERT) I was absolutely fine.

Don’t bother with a plan!
I spent WEEKS, probably months watching One Born Every Minute trying to decipher which was the easiest and most pain free way to bring my little cherub into the world (doesn’t exist). I actually gave myself some major anxiety because I’d overthought it SO much.. to the point where I was googling “How likely is it to die during childbirth?”, “How much blood do you loose during a caesarean section?” and “What the HELL is an active birth, and WHY would anyone want to do that?!”. After seeing Three different consultants (not through choice).. and absolutely none of them giving a crap about what happened during my labour but at the same thinking they knew EVERYTHING about my condition I was still completely undecided! UNTIL I met a lovely consultant that said she’d encourage me to go for a natural birth… it felt great to have someone that finally believed in ME! Someone who was treating me like a normal human being. Following that at my next appointment she said that my baby wasn’t engaged and he WOULD NEVER make an appearance naturally!.. It looked like we were back to the being cut open plan with an epidural that MAY OR MAY NOT work due to my crazy spine (scoliosis). Then, following the trend of my whole pregnancy, things changed again and my waters broke two days later.. I went through labour up to 10cm naturally with no pain relief apart from an over the counter co-codamol tablet (can you tell I’m really proud of that?) to only be told that there was scar tissue blocking the *ahem* exit and that I had to be taken to theatre and put under general anaesthetic. That meaning that neither Jaz or I would get to see our boy being born.. I was SO deflated after almost two days of slow labour and excitement.

It doesn’t matter how they are delivered as long as they are safe!
See, this is something that LOADS of people said to me when I was thinking about my options (when I thought I had options) and I thought it was massively cliche.. but it is SO true. As I mentioned above, I was in theatre and under anaesthetic so I was completely unaware of anything that was happening to me and neither of us were “present” for our baby’s birth.. BUT when I came around from that anaesthetic to see my husband sitting next to me holding our boy (a moment that I seriously doubted I would ever see!) with a huge smile on his face/tears in his eyes.. that was our moment and I don’t think it could have been any better than that.
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Morphine is good!
Following my operation I woke up in MASSIVE pain, and I was given oral morphine. I NEVER take pain killers, only the occasional paracetamol or ibuprofen so this knocked me for six. AND.. that was also the last time I slept.
Screenshot 2018-01-26 17.53.27

SO that brings me to the end of my first blog back.. and I realise I’ve given ZERO good advice there, except for maybe the morphine thing.. I am going to write a follow up to this blog about actual PARENTING! So keep your eyes peeled for that one and some further pearls of wisdom.

Kel x

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